Puck the Muck Duck Questionnaire
What do the famous French writer Marcel Proust, Robert DeNiro, and our very own Puck have in common? Aside from their notable artistic achievements and having sandwiches named after them, they’ve all completed a confession album, most often referred to as a Proust Questionnaire. Here’s what our “Duck of the Muck” had to say:
What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Mud, water, and beer, not necessarily in that order.
What is your greatest fear?
Not enough mud, water, and beer.
Which historical figures do you most admire?
It used to be Francis Bacon until I discovered that he wasn’t responsible for inventing my favorite food.
Which living person do you most admire?
My dad, who is a bit daffy.
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
“Indubitably” and “Can I get ketchup on that?”
What is your greatest extravagance?
Baths of Red Sea mud flown in from Djibouti every Friday. I also like saying, “Djibouti.”
What do you dislike most about your appearance?
That it makes so many others so envious.
What trait gets you into the most trouble?
My fowl mouth.
When and where were you the happiest?
About five minutes ago, right before you asked me to answer this questionnaire.
If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?
I would really like long eyelashes.
If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?
Less odd ducks and quacks. Sorry.
What do you consider to be your greatest achievement?
Probably my Nobel Prize in Physics or being able to hold a beer with my webbed foot.
What is your most treasured possession?
A 19th century duck bill polisher from France that Napoleon used on his nose.
On what occasion do you lie?
When people ask to borrow my duck bill polisher.
What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
The off-season when there are no MuckFest® MS events, and most Mondays.
Who are your heroes in life?
I would say it’s the runners living with MS and their teams of family and friends who muck it out on the course.
What is it that you most dislike?
The phrase, “Last call, the beer garden is closing.”
If you could get a tattoo, what would it be and where would it be placed?
It would be a poem by Ogden Nash and it would be on my neck and probably my chest, I think, because the poem’s kind of long and my neck is kind of short:
Behold the duck.
It does not cluck.
A cluck it lacks.
It is specially fond
Of a puddle or pond.
When it dines or sups,
It bottoms ups.
What is your motto?
Mucketo ergo sum, which is Duck Latin for, “I muck it, therefore I am.”